Does God consider sex the same as getting married?
When we confess sins, it is far from pleasant, but it is the first step to liberty. Confessing our sins is not an option, it is required when we want to follow Jesus. It is the only way to freedom. When leaving even the smallest of lies in place, it is an open door for the enemy. The lies are not protecting you, they are hurting you even more. And those involved. If you’re not married, then sexual sins are between you and the Lord. Still, it may be a very wise idea to talk about it with your pastor or counselor. However, when you are married, then your sexual sins are no longer yours alone. Since you and your spouse are one, everything you do – as a husband or as a wife – affects her/him. When you masturbate, it opens the door to demons of lust and impurity. If that door is open in your life, they can also access the life of your spouse through you. If you watch pornography, the same powers gain access to your life and the life of your spouse. From that moment on, your spouse struggles with the same thoughts and eventually can even struggle with the same sins. So when you perform these sexual sins, you do not only sin against God and yourself but also against your spouse, since you are then the one who exposed her or him to this sin as well. The next step is actually having intercourse with someone other than your spouse. That is a huge step further than the sins I just described.
Intercourse was created by God as a part of marriage. Some think that intercourse equals marrying a person, but that is a lie from the enemy. A divine marriage comes into being in three steps. First, there is a covenant. A divine covenant is making your vows, as husband and wife to be, in the presence of witnesses and people who have the legal authority to legally establish the marriage, regarding the laws of the land and towards God. This can only be done when both are unmarried. Also, this never happens in secret. Everything is out in the open. If it’s not, it’s not from God. Once this step is made official by the officials, in the presence of the witnesses, then the next step comes. In the Jewish culture, where Jesus grew up and which He used in His parables, the second step is sex. The first step is a verbal and written covenant, the second step binds two people spiritually together in that covenant and makes it a blood covenant, thus confirming the verbal and written covenant. The third step is the celebration of it. So the three steps of a divine marriage are:
- Covenant (ketubah)
- Consummation (chuppah)
- Celebration (the wedding feast)
In our western culture, we first do the covenant, then the celebration and then, when everyone is gone, the consummation. That’s ok. As long as the covenant comes first. When we follow these divine steps for a divine marriage, we are under divine protection, and sex becomes something we can enjoy within the safety of our marriage.
Whenever we have intercourse with someone, outside of this divine protection, we also enter into a blood covenant with them. Outside the divine marriage, that is an open contract and a massive open door for evil spiritual powers. Even though the sex is outside the divine marriage, you are becoming one with that person, and you have a blood covenant with her/him. A blood covenant means that if you do not honor that covenant, you will pay for it with your life. It means that your life and the life of that person are now one life in the spiritual world. You could compare this with a computer network. When you marry someone, you could see that as two computers that are connected to each other. If either one has an open door for hackers, they can access the other computers on the network as well, through that hack. If there are open doors for demons in our lives, which only comes when we persist in sin, then they can access the life of our spouse as well, because we are one with them, through the blood covenant. But whenever we have sex with someone, outside of our marriage, that is like an extra computer on the network. But that computer most likely also has many other computers it is connected to.
When we become one with someone outside of our divine marriage, we establish a new blood covenant. Now you, your spouse, the person you had sex with and all the persons he/she had sex with, are one. All the sins and all the demons that are keeping these people a prisoner to these sins, can now freely access your life and the life of your spouse. The more people you have sex with, the bigger this network becomes, the more sins and demons will access your life and the life of your spouse. It was in this light that Isaiah spoke the following words, on behalf of God:
Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He will not hear. For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity; Your lips have spoken lies, your tongue has muttered perversity.
Therefore justice is far from us, nor does righteousness overtake us; We look for light, but there is darkness! For brightness, but we walk in blackness! We grope for the wall like the blind, and we grope as if we had no eyes; We stumble at noonday as at twilight; We are as dead men in desolate places. We all growl like bears, and moan sadly like doves; We look for justice, but there is none; For salvation, but it is far from us. For our transgressions are multiplied before You, and our sins testify against us; For our transgressions are with us, and as for our iniquities, we know them: In transgressing and lying against the Lord, and departing from our God, speaking oppression and revolt, conceiving and uttering from the heart words of falsehood. Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands afar off; For truth is fallen in the street, and equity cannot enter. So truth fails, and he who departs from evil makes himself a prey.
Whenever you establish a blood covenant, you cannot break it anymore. Once it’s established, it is there for life. Nothing you do can change that. If it were not for the grace of God, everyone who would try to break these covenants would instantly die. For that is what it means to have a blood covenant. If you don’t honor your part of the deal, you pay for it with your life. So there’s no hope? Yes, there is. Even though you cannot make any blood covenant undone, there is One Who can do it for you. You’ve guessed it, that One is Jesus Christ. Until He has done that for you, you will never be free. Neither will your spouse. Jesus Christ is willing to help you and to do for you what you cannot do for yourself, but there are conditions. You’ve got to confess everything to God and to your spouse. You’ve got to come to the acknowledgment that sex outside the divine marriage is a sin. The only answer and the only way to complete freedom is complete transparency. If you leave things unmentioned, they stay in the dark, and that will open the doors for all demons to come back and to make things even worse then they were before. There is no other way than to confess everything. Even if that means she/he will leave you. Obedience to God comes before everything else. It takes a lot of courage and fear may try to overwhelm you, but keep in mind that when you do, you will finally have the freedom you so longed for. When you are willing to set things right in your life and to acknowledge the Truth, God will never turn you down. Once you’ve confessed everything, find someone who can pray for the deliverance of demons. Confession alone is not enough. The demons that entered through these blood covenants need to be cast out. However, you can ask God to help you find someone who has experience with this.